Is curiosity selfish?

I was recently listening to an episode of the “You Are Not So Smart” podcast where they were chatting with Mónica Guzmán (author of the excellent book “I Never Thought of it That Way“), and Mónica got into some interesting thoughts regarding curiosity.

She shared a story of when someone considered her curiosity to be selfish. As she explains, they didn’t mean it in derogatory way, simply stating that “you’re learning because you want to make yourself better“.

While they didn’t mean it in a bad way, she still felt it wasn’t accurate. In her case, she sees curiosity as a gift and a way to make deeper connections with others. From the show:

“And now I know why it bothers me, actually. Now I have realized why it bothers me, because curiosity is a gift. The gift of your interest in somebody else. It’s unexpected. We’re all running around. We’re very busy. You know, I’ll even meet friends and … I’m so touched when they actually care enough to ask like more than two or three questions about my day.”

I’ve never really thought of curiosity that way, and I think that’s an angle of it that I sometimes lack. It’s one thing to be curious about science or politics or whatever, but another to be intentionally curious about those around you. As she says, people tend to be “so touched when they actually care enough to ask like more than two or three questions about my day”.

I suppose curiosity can be selfish, but if you focus it outward it can be an amazing superpower.