Today’s question from “Tribe of Mentors” (see all questions here) by Tim Ferriss is a good one:
In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?
Here are a few of my favorites from the book.
Mike Maples, Jr. shared:
Understanding that even though great scientists never believe they can state “this is the truth,” they still seek the truth more passionately than all others.
Brandon Stanton took a similar approach, with his focus on being humble in your morals:
Be very careful with the moral high ground. It helps to resolve conflict when you realize that everyone has different moral codes, and very few people intentionally make immoral decisions. Chase Jarvis once told me: “Everyone wants to see themselves as a good person.” No matter how egregious the crime, the criminal usually has a reason for viewing it as morally acceptable.
Perhaps my favorite comes from Muneeb Ali, who shares this way of making today really count:
Asking myself the question, “When I’m old, how much would I be willing to pay to travel back in time and relive the moment that I’m experiencing right now?” If that moment is something like rocking my six-month-old daughter to sleep while she hugs me, then the answer is anything: I’d literally pay all the money I’d have in the bank at, say, age 70 to get a chance to relive that moment. This simple question just puts things in perspective and makes you grateful for the experience you’re having right now versus being lost in thoughts about the past or the future.
That last one really hits hard. I’m only 48, but there are already times in my life that I’d give everything to go back to an enjoy for another moment.
Answering the question, though, I think the idea of sonder has shaped me more than anything else. Always remembering that people around me have a full, rich, complicated life makes a big difference in how they should be treated. It’s not always easy to keep top of mind, but I’m always better when it is.
What recent belief or habit has improved your life the most?
Just an aside, ‘sonder’ is a word I need to keep in mind more!
Yes, it’s been one of my favorite words the past few years!
Two thoughts:
1. Under the general label of “Truth-seeking,” trying to understand people who have slightly, or even radically, different ideas from me. Not judging or condemning, using questions and discussion to better understand multiple points of view.
2. Sort of related, a very old concept, that used to regularly be labeled “no bad reports,” I like to turn it around can call it “only good reports.” Just barely beyond the old “if you don’t have anything good to say, then say nothing at all,” maybe there’s a place to go out of your way to find something good to say. Maybe. But not [false] flattery.
For the “truth-seeking”, I agree completely. I see that in you a lot, and I love it!
For the “only good reports”, context matters a lot. For person-to-person, I wholeheartedly agree. However, coming from my team that would be awful — I want them to lead with the “bad reports” so we can solve problems, and not bury them for fear of getting in trouble or something.