I shared a few weeks ago about a friend that wasn’t very confident when speaking in public, despite having solid content to share. This recently happened again with a different friend, but the conversation afterward was very interesting.
This friend spoke at a small event and he did a fantastic job, but he took probably 15 shots at himself along the way:
- “I’m not an expert at this”
- “I know I’m talking too much”
- “I’m just not very good at this”
While his talk was great, it would have been even better without all of the self-deprecating statements throughout.
That’s just who I am
In chatting with him and some other speakers after, he said “yeah, but that’s just how I am”. One of the others stopped him and said something that I thought was brilliant, saying:
“That’s how I am too. You know me, I take a lot of shots at myself and it’s all in fun. However, when I’m up there talking in front of a group I shift and I try to bring all of the confidence that I can.”
He was right! He’s kind of a goofball behind the scenes, but when he’s up on stage he brings authority and presence and it’s quite awesome.
It kind of goes back to Seth Godin’s thoughts on authenticity. No one wants to be you to be inauthentic, but you don’t need to lead with it either. As Seth has said:
“I think this pitch that you should be authentic is baloney. No one wants you to be authentic. Just name anything you care about. If you go to a concert or if you get or need surgery, you don’t want the surgeon to be authentic. If they’re having a bad day, you don’t want them to do a bad job. You want them to be consistent.”
Don’t hide who you are, but if you’re tasked with leading and inspiring others you should focus on those areas and leave the doubt for another time.
