January 25, 2024

Tell them off tomorrow instead

poor-charlies-almanack-cover
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Controlling your temper is something that many people struggle with, and it’s a main thread in much of the stoic writings that you might come across.

For example, in Ryan Holiday’s book “The Obstacle is the Way” he shares this quote from Epictetus:

“In life our first job is this, to divide and distinguish things into two categories: externals I cannot control, but the choices I make with regard to them I do control.”

This came to mind while recently reading “Poor Charlie’s Almanack“, where Charlie Munger shared this thought:

I next turn to man’s reciprocated hostility that falls well short of war. Peacetime hostility can be pretty extreme, as in many modern cases of road rage or injury-producing temper tantrums on athletic fields. The standard antidote to one’s overactive hostility is to train oneself to defer reaction. As my smart friend Tom Murphy so frequently says, “You can always tell the man off tomorrow, if it is such a good idea.”

Waiting is almost always the best thing you can do. A common suggestion is to write a note to the other person, but then hold onto it. If you still want to tell them off tomorrow you certainly can, but the odds of feeling like you need to are going to be far lower.

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