Reading Time: < 1 minute

As time goes on, I’m finding it easier and easier to “just do” things rather than considering whether they should be done today or tomorrow.

This blog is a good example; I don’t even consider whether I’m going to publish each morning, I just do it.

The same goes for studying Anki cards, working on Duolingo, and a variety of other things. As I shared at the end of 2023, I’m setting fewer goals for myself in favor of more routines.

I recently read “Unlimited Memory” by Kevin Horsley, where he shared this thought and quote:

When it comes time to floss your teeth, you don’t have to consult your intuition, you just do it. When you have to exercise, you don’t have to listen to your feelings, you just do it. William James said, “The more we struggle and debate, the more we reconsider and delay, the less likely we are to act.”

If I “struggle and debate” about doing something, it very well might not get done. I find it much easier to just do it without any debate at all, as it makes things much easier.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Digging into “Tribe of Mentors” by Tim Ferriss (see all previous questions here), he asks:

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

There were a ton of great answers in the book, and here are a few of my favorites.

Kyle Maynard shared a great tip for ranking candidates when sorting through people for a new job opening:

My biggest shift came after listening to a successful CEO talk about his philosophy for hiring people. When his company grew and he ran out of time to interview people himself, he had his employees rate new candidates on a 1–10 scale. The only stipulation was they couldn’t choose 7. It immediately dawned on me how many invitations I was receiving that I would rate as a 7—speeches, weddings, coffees, even dates. If I thought something was a 7, there was a good chance I felt obligated to do it. But if I have to decide between a 6 or an 8, it’s a lot easier to quickly determine whether or not I should even consider it.

When it comes to saying no, Terry Crews has a great way to frame things:

One approach I use is imaginary great-grandchildren. I talk to them all the time. I ask them about decisions and relationships and whether or not to continue them. They tend to speak loud and clear. “Grandpa, you shouldn’t do this, or you need to leave these people alone because we will be affected negatively, or worse, we won’t exist.”

Julia Galef is working to avoid consuming media that she already agrees with:

One distraction I’ve learned to avoid is consuming media that’s just telling me things I already know and agree with (for example, about politics). That stuff can be addictive because it feels so validating—it’s like venting with a friend—but you’re not learning from it, and over time, I think indulging that impulse makes you less able to tolerate other perspectives. So I broke my addiction by, essentially, reminding myself how much time I was wasting not learning anything.

The idea of “opportunity cost” is something I’ve been working on, and John Arnold sums it up very nicely:

I had not appreciated the maxim “Time is money” until recently. But for those whose time is a scarce resource, learning to say no to meetings is a necessary skill. Sitting through an unproductive meeting has huge opportunity costs. It seems obvious, but people struggle with equilibrating time and money. There are many organizations that fret over small, direct expenses, yet have no misgivings about keeping superfluous staff tied up in a conference room for hours. In recent years, I have become better at judging the opportunity cost of time.

The last one I’ll share from the book is from Jon Call, and it feels like he’s speaking directly to me:

I’ve gotten better at telling my brain “no” when it wants to relate to conversation with a “bigger” story. What I mean is, somebody might be telling me a story about an experience they had, while I have a related story that sounds even bigger or more dramatic than theirs. Rather than wait for a moment to jump in with mine, I’ll just let that desire go and ask them more questions about their experience. What I’ve discovered is incredible: the loss of the opportunity to possibly impress someone is far outweighed by what I learn when I ask more questions. There is always something else to their story that will amaze you. Don’t expect that what they start with is as exciting as it will get. Ask and encourage them to say more!

For me, the big one I’ve been working on is turning down clients that aren’t a great fit for us. With a team of nine, the idea of ever missing payroll is on my mind a lot. We never have, and I hope we never will, but focusing on that too much has led me to take on ill-fitting projects in the past.

If I’m able to step back and use greater discernment when choosing whether or not to take on a particular client, the end result is better for everyone.

What have you been better about saying “no” to lately?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Today’s question from “Tribe of Mentors” (see all questions here) by Tim Ferriss is a good one:

In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

Here are a few of my favorites from the book.

Mike Maples, Jr. shared:

Understanding that even though great scientists never believe they can state “this is the truth,” they still seek the truth more passionately than all others.

Brandon Stanton took a similar approach, with his focus on being humble in your morals:

Be very careful with the moral high ground. It helps to resolve conflict when you realize that everyone has different moral codes, and very few people intentionally make immoral decisions. Chase Jarvis once told me: “Everyone wants to see themselves as a good person.” No matter how egregious the crime, the criminal usually has a reason for viewing it as morally acceptable.

Perhaps my favorite comes from Muneeb Ali, who shares this way of making today really count:

Asking myself the question, “When I’m old, how much would I be willing to pay to travel back in time and relive the moment that I’m experiencing right now?” If that moment is something like rocking my six-month-old daughter to sleep while she hugs me, then the answer is anything: I’d literally pay all the money I’d have in the bank at, say, age 70 to get a chance to relive that moment. This simple question just puts things in perspective and makes you grateful for the experience you’re having right now versus being lost in thoughts about the past or the future.

That last one really hits hard. I’m only 48, but there are already times in my life that I’d give everything to go back to an enjoy for another moment.

Answering the question, though, I think the idea of sonder has shaped me more than anything else. Always remembering that people around me have a full, rich, complicated life makes a big difference in how they should be treated. It’s not always easy to keep top of mind, but I’m always better when it is.

What recent belief or habit has improved your life the most?