Earlier this year I shared how I love when people have the ability to have a good day. It’s not that every day is good, but that they can see the good when it arrives.

It’s a great ability to have, and it’s one that you can control. There’s the simple idea of just working to always “see the good”, but there are also bigger things you can do to help shape your life to have that perspective.

In “The Almanack of Naval Ravikant“, they share these words from Naval about building the skill of happiness:

“How does someone build the skill of happiness? You can build good habits. Not drinking alcohol will keep your mood more stable. Not eating sugar will keep your mood more stable. Not going on Facebook, Snapchat, or Twitter will keep your mood more stable. Playing video games will make you happier in the short run—and I used to be an avid gamer—but in the long run, it could ruin your happiness. You’re being fed dopamine and having dopamine withdrawn from you in these little uncontrollable ways. Caffeine is another one where you trade long term for the short term.”

While I already abstain from many things on there, it’s certainly not all of them. Is it worth trying to knock out a few more? I tend to think so.

It reminds of some of the values of Charlie Munger, ironically from a different Almanack (“Poor Charlie’s Almanack“), where it shares:

“The quotes, talks, and speeches presented here are rooted in the old-fashioned Midwestern values for which Charlie has become known: lifelong learning, intellectual curiosity, sobriety, avoidance of envy and resentment, reliability, learning from the mistakes of others, perseverance, objectivity, willingness to test one’s own beliefs, and many more.”

I don’t think it’s a mistake that some of the most successful humans of all time, including Ravikant and Munger, are also very careful about how they treat themselves and others around them.

The lessons from both of these men will help you to be happier, more successful, and likely live longer. Seems like pretty good traits to emulate.

I recently read the book “Smart Brevity“, which shares ways to make your communication more succinct and impactful, and I encourage you to give it a read (the book itself is quite succinct and impactful).

Beyond the tips on brevity, they shared a different story that really stood out to me. In a world that can be complicated and the “right” answers hard to find, they offered a simple solution. From the book:

Jim sat stewing in the pew of Christ the King Church in Alexandria, Virginia, while David Glade, the pastor, talked about the difficulties of being good. He told a story about how his kids wondered, with all the chaos and challenge of life, how a person can choose to do the right thing, always.

Pastor Glade wanted to shrink this big existential question into something more digestible. He offered to his kids nine words of wisdom that guided us through our departure—and shaped how we live our lives today: “All you can do is the next right thing.”

None of of can “do the right thing, always”, but we can always do “the next right thing”.

You may have made a poor decision with your work, your vote, your relationship, or something else, and that’s in the past. However, you always have a chance to do the next right thing. It seems like a good lens to view life through.

I shared a few weeks ago about a friend that wasn’t very confident when speaking in public, despite having solid content to share. This recently happened again with a different friend, but the conversation afterward was very interesting.

This friend spoke at a small event and he did a fantastic job, but he took probably 15 shots at himself along the way:

• “I’m not an expert at this”
• “I know I’m talking too much”
• “I’m just not very good at this”

While his talk was great, it would have been even better without all of the self-deprecating statements throughout.

That’s just who I am

In chatting with him and some other speakers after, he said “yeah, but that’s just how I am”. One of the others stopped him and said something that I thought was brilliant, saying:

“That’s how I am too. You know me, I take a lot of shots at myself and it’s all in fun. However, when I’m up there talking in front of a group I shift and I try to bring all of the confidence that I can.”

He was right! He’s kind of a goofball behind the scenes, but when he’s up on stage he brings authority and presence and it’s quite awesome.

It kind of goes back to Seth Godin’s thoughts on authenticity. No one wants to be you to be inauthentic, but you don’t need to lead with it either. As Seth has said:

“I think this pitch that you should be authentic is baloney. No one wants you to be authentic. Just name anything you care about. If you go to a concert or if you get or need surgery, you don’t want the surgeon to be authentic. If they’re having a bad day, you don’t want them to do a bad job. You want them to be consistent.”

Don’t hide who you are, but if you’re tasked with leading and inspiring others you should focus on those areas and leave the doubt for another time.

When giving a talk, many of us can be nervous and we’ll often feel a bit of imposter syndrome. While sharing weaknesses during a talk can be valuable, confidence in what you’re sharing is also important.

A friend of mine recently gave a talk to a small group, and he did an excellent job, but he spent way too much time apologizing for being there.

“I’m not sure what I have to share is valuable”.

“I hope I’m not wasting your time”.

“I really don’t do this very much, so this might be bad”.

While his talk was solid, it would have been far better if he had just left out the self-deprecating comments. All of those statements from him were honest, but they detracted from the content he was trying to share.

Honesty is paramount, but confidence goes a long way as well. Finding the right balance can lead to a very effective presentation.

They say that in business you’re either growing or you’re dying. It’s nearly impossible for a business to just sit at the same level year after year. If you try to do that you’ll slowly fade away, so the only other option is to grow.

The same can be said of individuals. Are you growing or are you fading?

In his book “What do do next“, author Jeff Henderson shares this quote from David Farmer, who leads the restaurant experience team for Chick-fil-A:

“If you’re the same person you were ninety days ago, you’re falling behind.”

The idea of “falling behind” is perhaps a bit harsh, as it can lead to the idea of “hustle at all costs” (which is also problematic) but the general idea is solid. Are you working to improve yourself? You don’t need to make huge leaps every 90 days, but are you doing little things to continually get better?

This could fall into categories like parenting, business, fitness, or many others. Nothing huge will change in 90 days, but little improvements every quarter can lead to some great improvements over time.

As much as we might want to, we can’t stay the same. We’re either growing or fading, so a little push to keep moving forward is always welcome.