As we go through our days, we will come across people that seem problematic to us. Perhaps they’re problematic to others as well, but it’s also likely that we come across as problematic to people that encounter us.
As French film director Jean Renoir famously said:
The hell of life is that everyone has his reasons.
Some people just might be jerks, but most people have a reason for their behavior — both good and bad. If we put it back on ourselves to understand the situation, perhaps we can affect it.
John Bastia, Stanford Graduate School of Business lecturer and executive coach, put it this way: “Is there something I can do to change how I’m showing up and influence the environment in which this other person is operating?“
You shouldn’t change who you are when dealing with others, but adjusting your approach can have big dividends.